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*Disclaimer - this is purely my lived experience, please seek medical advice from a professional

It’s been a while… I know… I’ve come out of the haze more wrinkly and saggier than ever before and with a new mum bod but I’m alive and kicking - PRAISE THE LORD!

Today is friday the first of July 2022 and on monday Stormy has his first week of day care (4 days a week). Stormy right now is 10.5 months old… I sit here today savouring every single moment: the beautiful morning poop I was greeted with, the boogers I removed from his nose, the hair pulls even though I am bald now and the clean up I will be doing once he’s done trashing his room for the bazillionith time this week.

It’s a very strange feeling sending your baby to day care. I’ve left him before for shorter periods of time with people I trust and I did have one day back at work but I left him with my mum on that occasion. Can I just say it was like a 7 day holiday! I felt refreshed, able to pee, drink warm tea and talk to adults. Even though it was a brand new job, I’ve never felt so myself for a day.

I think for me the thing is… I’ve seen literally EVERYTHING my little Stormy has ever done! Like I know him better than anyone in the whole wide world and now I’m going to pass this precious little piece of me over to a complete stranger four days a week. ITS UNHINGED!

Part of me thinks I’ll be fine and the other part of me thinks I’ll be doing hot laps of the car park listening to Celine Dion with crocodile tears streaming down my cheeks! Either that or dancing to September reliving my black magic gigging days and marvelling in sweet freedom. Then I imagine mum guilt will settle in again and I'll be belting out sad love songs - oh to be a fly on the wall.

It’s been a wild ride but I feel like it’s over. I’m a teacher by trade… so I’m used to this routine of 10 week terms and then a 2 week break for holidays to rejuvenate! In all honestly motherhood has been 10 months of a full on life changing procedure and me coming out dusty as with a mini me that loves causing a ruckus! I don’t think this blog will help you? Heck I don’t think it’s a funny read this one… it’s just a way for me to process what I’m feeling, whilst listening to another day of 'goo goo Gaga dada' and hoping to god he will stay asleep long enough so I can finish this bloody blog! I know what your thinking... the big question everyone wants to know! What on earth will happen with Stormy & Me my little business. Well folks, I still will have friday's off, so I shall solider on with the hope to be a multimillion dollar company one day - wishful thinking I know!

Things I’ll take away from maternity leave:

  1. It’s harder than you could ever imagine being a mother.

  2. For me, once I got over the birth trauma I have never felt a love like mine for Stormy my gosh - it’s indescribable! Because it’s you! Haha and peeps we never love anything as much as we love ourselves - and you know it!

  3. Awake times, swaddling, routines, sleep suits, white noise - they have to happen and you are an idiot if you don’t want to listen!

  4. Breastfeeding is a gift and a curse! Don’t do it and you cop it from the Karen's! Do it and your told it’s time to wean? Do it and get lazy with giving your baby a bottle - (don’t recommend) you are left on a 3 hour schedule or fear your child will starve! My boobs will never be the same and I basically didn't drink alcohol for 1.5 years if you count the pregnancy - I AM A SAINT DAMMIT!

  5. Mat leave somehow was amazing for all my creative entrepreneur talents Writing and publishing plays, launching a baby clothing and gift business, writing a cookbook, a children’s book and many other exciting projects in the works! Finally getting new headshots (yesterday) and doing everything I never had time to do - yet having way less time than ever before! I did it all in 2 hour naps… LIKE WHO DOES THAT?? I think in a way, it was a challenge I set for myself to prove I can still be me and create cool stuff, despite losing my old identity along the way.

  1. Your hearing improves dramatically. Like every noise is annoying when you have a baby? It’s like why can’t anyone be quiet! If you hear a story in the news about a crazy mum in Benowa going ham on the council lawn mower man - you know its me? That prick literally waits till Stormy goes down for a nap to get on his giant old school ride on mower and do fat burn outs outside his window!

  2. If you feel crap postpartum get a blood test! Turns out I am very deficient in iron and vitamin D from breast feeding/birth.

  3. It’s a strain on your relationship - if you ain’t solid before you have a baby, don’t go into the realm of parenthood- it’s the most testing time you’ll ever have in your life. Half the money you usually have if any! as well as no sleep, one at home and one working, home loans, teething, sickness... Ahhh the list goes on - pick your person ladies… do not have fix me babies and THIS IS IMPORTANT.

  4. You loose your social life. It’s a short moment but… apart from a lunch with mum whose retired… there’s not a lot of socializing apart from first birthdays, grandparents and appointments. There’s just no times and you are working on a nap schedule, one parent only having weekends and most other mums trying to stay alive! I’m not ignoring you friends I just don’t have time and my shower is more important. I'm coming out of the haze though now - and I've given up breastfeeding - so if you wanna grab a wine... YEWWWWWWWWW

So this could be farewell for a while whilst I close the chapter of mat leave for now… but don’t worry I’m sure you’ll see another Facebook or insta post plugging my little business at some point today or another random post about opening a GF bacon and egg burger business. I am a loud, crazy, spontaneous and creative mama ... wish me luck in this next chapter. Till next time...

Bliss xx Ps…tell me what you think in the comment section. PPS... God I love Celine Dion!

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